NayaBisa

Author: Naya

Naya writes about self-care, everyday habits, home and relationships for NayaBisa. She is part of the NayaBisa editorial team.

  • I Stopped Trying to Be a Morning Person

    I Stopped Trying to Be a Morning Person

    For years, I believed the narrative. Successful women wake up at 5 AM. They meditate. They journal. They drink green smoothies while watching the sunrise before anyone else in the house stirs.

    And for years, I felt like a failure because that was never me.

    I tried. I really did. I set my alarm for 5 AM probably two dozen times. Each time, I would spend the next three days walking around like a zombie, snapping at my kids over minor things, and mainlining coffee just to keep my eyes open past 2 PM.

    Then one Tuesday, after yet another failed attempt at early rising, I stopped and asked myself a question nobody in the wellness space seems to ask: What if I am just not a morning person , and what if that is completely fine?

    The Cult of the Morning Routine

    You know the books. You have seen the Instagram reels. The message is everywhere: the early hours are sacred, and anyone who sleeps past 6 AM is squandering their potential.

    But here is what nobody tells you. The research on chronotypes , your body’s natural preference for sleep and wake times , suggests that about 30% of people are evening types. Their brains literally do not function optimally in the early morning. Asking an evening type to thrive at 5 AM is like asking a morning person to do creative work at midnight. It fights biology.

    I am one of those evening types. My brain hits its creative peak around 9 PM. That is when I write best. That is when ideas flow. That is when I actually want to journal.

    What Happened When I Stopped Fighting My Body

    I made three simple changes that changed everything.

    1. I stopped setting alarms on purpose. Now, before you panic , I have kids, so I cannot sleep until noon. But on days when I do not have school drop-off, I let my body wake up naturally. Usually that is around 7:30 AM. And you know what? I wake up feeling rested instead of resentful.

    2. I moved my “morning routine” to 9 AM. Instead of forcing meditation at 5:15 AM while half-asleep, I do it after the kids leave for school. I sit on my couch with a cup of coffee that is actually hot, not reheated three times. I breathe. I write three lines in my journal. It takes fifteen minutes total, and it works because I am actually conscious.

    3. I embraced my night owl creativity. Once the house is quiet around 9 PM, that is my time. I write. I brainstorm. Sometimes I just sit and think. I stopped feeling guilty about being productive at night and started treating it as the gift it is.

    The Real Lesson

    The self-care industry has a habit of turning everything into a rule. Wake up at this time. Do this routine. Follow this exact sequence. But real self-care, the kind that actually sticks, is about listening to your own body and your own life , not copying someone else’s.. I also tried a full digital detox for 48 hours once, and it reinforced what I was learning.

    If you are a morning person, I genuinely celebrate that. Wake up at 5 AM and do your thing. But if you have been beating yourself up because you cannot seem to become one, please hear this: you are not lazy. You are not undisciplined. You might just be wired differently.

    And that wiring is not a flaw. It is just you.

    So tonight, instead of setting that 5 AM alarm with dread in your stomach, try this: go to bed at a time that feels natural. Wake up when your body is ready. And use your best hours , whatever time they happen to fall , to do the things that make you feel alive.

    The Quiet Revolution

    Since I stopped trying to become a morning person, a few things have shifted that I did not expect. I no longer start every day feeling like I have already failed at something before my feet hit the floor. I do not compare myself to the 5 AM club people with that familiar mix of envy and self-loathing. I just live my life in the hours that work for my body, and I get more done — more actual, creative, meaningful work — than I ever did when I was dragging myself through mornings on four hours of sleep.

    If you needed permission to stop fighting your natural rhythm, consider this it.

    You might be surprised by how much changes when you stop fighting yourself and start working with who you actually are.

    How Ananta can help

    Ananta is our self-care and journal app for Android: a short daily place to log your mood and sleep, read one affirmation, and keep a small routine going through a busy week. If the advice above sounds right but you know a paper journal will not survive past Tuesday, that is the gap Ananta is built for. It is on the landing page and on Google Play, and you can see all of our apps on the Apps & Products page.

  • The Mom Guilt I Never Talk About (But Know I Should)

    The Mom Guilt I Never Talk About (But Know I Should)

    I was sitting on the bathroom floor at 3 PM on a Wednesday, eating a granola bar that had been in my purse for at least two weeks, while my three-year-old banged on the door asking for a snack she would not eat. I had not showered. I had snapped at my partner that morning for leaving a single dish in the sink. And the voice in my head , the one that never seems to take a day off , was telling me I was failing at the most important job I had ever been given.

    Mom guilt. It is not just a phrase. It is a weight that sits on your chest while you are trying to breathe through another chaotic day.

    And here is the thing: we do not talk about it enough. Not really. We make jokes about wine o’clock and messy buns, but underneath the humor is something raw and real that deserves more than a punchline.

    The Guilt I Carry

    I feel guilty when I work. I feel guilty when I do not work. I feel guilty when I am present with my kids but my mind is elsewhere. I feel guilty when I am fully focused on work and not thinking about my kids at all.

    I feel guilty when I lose my temper , which happens more often than I would like to admit. I feel guilty ten minutes later when I am hugging them and apologizing, wondering if I have already done damage that cannot be undone.

    I feel guilty comparing myself to other mothers. The one at school pickup who always looks put together. The one on social media whose house is somehow always clean. The one who seems to genuinely enjoy playing on the floor for hours while I count down the minutes until nap time.

    And perhaps the guilt I carry most heavily: the guilt of sometimes wanting to be somewhere else. Not forever. Just for an afternoon. A day. Long enough to remember who I was before I became “Mama.” I tested that one in the smallest possible dose: coffee alone, kids at home, nobody died.

    Why We Stay Silent

    Part of the problem is that admitting these feelings feels dangerous. What if someone thinks I do not love my children? What if they judge me? What if saying it out loud makes it more real?

    But I have learned something important. Silence does not protect us. It isolates us. Every time I have been brave enough to tell another mom , a real friend, over coffee, with no filters , that I am struggling, the response has never been judgment. It has always been relief.

    “Me too.”

    “I thought I was the only one.”

    “Thank you for saying that.”

    Because here is the truth nobody tells you about motherhood: everyone feels this way sometimes. The difference is just who admits it and who buries it under a perfectly curated Instagram grid.

    What I Am Trying to Do Instead

    I am not writing this because I have figured it out. I am writing this because I am in the middle of it, and I suspect you might be too.

    But here are a few things I am practicing, slowly and imperfectly:

    Naming the guilt instead of swallowing it. When the voice starts telling me I am a bad mom because I let them watch an extra episode so I could finish a work email, I pause and say it out loud: “I am feeling guilty right now.” Just naming it takes some of its power away.

    Reminding myself that guilt does not equal truth. Feeling like a bad mom is not the same thing as being a bad mom. Guilt is an emotion, not an accurate assessment of my parenting.. I have talked about quitting the Pinterest mom competition, and it reinforced what I was learning.

    Finding one person I do not have to perform for. A friend who will not flinch when I admit that some days I count the minutes until bedtime. Someone who will laugh with me about the absurdity of it all instead of giving me a worried look.

    Letting good enough be good enough. The dishes can wait. The perfectly planned activity can be replaced by coloring books and a movie. My kids will not remember whether the living room was spotless. They will remember whether I was there , really there , even if only for twenty minutes at a time.

    To the Mom Reading This

    If you are carrying guilt today , about working, about not working, about losing your temper, about not being enough , I want you to know something.

    You are not failing. You are doing something impossibly hard without a manual, without enough support, and often without enough sleep. The guilt you feel is not proof that you are getting it wrong. It is proof that you care so deeply it hurts.

    And that , caring that much , is the opposite of failure.